2004-09-24(10:58 p.m.)

I love it when people use words like "shat" and "fishes". Everything i've been taught leads me to believe those aren't real words so when I see them in print or spoken vocally the funny man inside me laughs a little.
2004-02-29(12:38 a.m.)

Today was terrible.....I hate dealing with people who have issues -_-;
2004-02-23(7:22 p.m.)

playing:Liz Phair- Extraordinary

Today I took my college entrance exams over at the campus. Im in such a good about about my scores. I hardly expected anything from them but I really didn't think I would get perfect scores either. Because of my scores I will be placed in advanced courses(quite as surprise) not to mention the fact that my schedule is looking exciting beyond that. So ready to get started and into the groove of things. Apart from some minor financial paper fill outs I don't have any big concerns what-so-ever. Beyond school plans i've been playing loads of RO but im going to tone down a bit so I have time to work on my website and artwork in general. Im very happy this week.

2004-02-18(1:00 a.m.)

song: Jason Mraz-You and I both

Recently I got all geared up for college. After submitting various things I got a call from my admissions advisor and this time around I got to meet her in person. She's auch a sweet woman, I think it's one of the few times i've laughed and chatted with someone I didn't really know meeting for the first time. Basically we went back and forth about my career, interests, life etc etc. I was so happy that I didn't get some angsty old woman who would stare at me because of my age. So i'll be back and forth between the school from now on, I have to take entrance exams, talk with the financial planner among other things(different visits mind you). And then i'll finally start in the beginning of April. After having been stuck at home so much, that obligatory "get out of the house" feeling will be a good one to have.

I've started playing iRO again, after not doing so for such a long time it's refreshing. My idol who shall remain nameless is still going around kicking ass.

In other news I still have no clue what fans of anime look for. I've said it before and i'll say it here too but im not going to draw huge doe eye girls with cliche poses and tacky colors just to get attention. I want my work to be seen as I view it, not how others want to necessarily see it. I feel that too many artists convince themselves that the only way to get by is to conform, it's a sad thing to think of.

2004-02-13(1:55 a.m.)

Being an intellectual being is tough. Not necessarily intellectual as in "I make straight A's and in my free time I study" but more along the lines of being the type of person who analyzes every situation. Most artists are probably like that in some way, though whether to the same degree as myself im unsure. I find myself asking questions with no answers. Such as "Why is it that people are drawn to the cliché or plainly popular?". A question like that can't very well be answered within the depths of my mind alone. It'd be like answering a simple question like "Why are most people ignorant"....it could be answered with "That's just how it is" but of course that just brings up another question. Often I see others do things and I just wonder what makes them do that. Very little makes actual sense to me beyond a scientific-ish angle. If there's something that I find puzzling i'll analzye it until I convince myself of why it's like that.

So far I believe that everything in life has an equation of some sort. Certain things you do or say in conjunction with other things yield exact results. But more often then not figuring out the equation never works, it's truly a task to even think lately. In the end I end up with up more to ponder on than resolutions. I really dislike many things, be it a good or bad way of thinking.

2004-02-06(10:39 p.m.)

Argh im not sure if im doing the right thing. Everyday like any other artist I sketch out a lot of things, hands,feet arms,back, whatever. But at some point I find myself having hundreds of pages of studies/sketches. Some of them range from when I just got started back in 2000 and they slowly proceed up until now. I've come to the conclusion that it's impossible to keep every single drawing I ever do. I literally have pounds of stacks of drawings so I had to throw some out. Lots of people say you should never throw out your old work. However to me there is no need to keep it once you advance. Sure you can look at what you once did and be proud of where you've come from. But artists keep evolving so if you never get rid of the junk from ages ago you'll wind up with mountains of scrap on your hands. Rather than do that I just dumped all of my drawings that i've done since I was about 15 or so. They served their purpose but im looking forward and they are in the past. As much as I doodle now im sure i'll have built up my paper sketch reserves in no time. I did not however toss my sketchbooks away though, there is a special connection I have to them so i'll always keep them.
2004-01-26(3:17 p.m.)

Waii im feeling very creative lately but it's hard to actually let it out. Most artists know what that means but I have so many ideas and not enough time or more correctly energy to put them down. Maybe im not in the right mindset o.o. Today I did an illustration using copics markers which I haven't used in at least over a year( the last time was valentines day last year I think). It was a piece for my hearts gallery even though the content I plan for hearts makes it seem very...safe? A long time ago I never thought I would create adult content or even light nudity. But my creative side twitches to simply draw something besides what i've been doing and that comes to mind since im a fan of many hentai artists(though hentai isn't what i'd be drawing X3). However I don't want to be tossed into that category of drawing where people think you're a pervert or clichéd nudity. It has to be something I like that won't cause jaws to drop.

While I was coloring the copic picture(which was a pencil sketch) I stabbed my hand with the marker and bled. Had anyone been around it would have been embarrasing to hurt yourself with a thing such as a marker. I wish I would get one of those moods where you can just create,create and create art. And you always feel great about what you've drawn. Unfortunately I haven't been that way in a really long time.




.